Great Sex

Sex with you is so fucking hot.  Your touch, just the touch of your fingertip brushing my nipples makes me wet. A full-on grab makes me ache for you. When you are inside me, it feels like the world is right; nothing can disturb me in that moment.  Moving together, fucking, my legs wrapped around your back, I come over and over again.  You fuck me absolutely perfectly.  You do things to me that I’ve always wanted to do.  I want you more and more.

Today, I work, and write, and remember.  I blush at the thoughts of you. Thinking of you right now, I slip my fingers inside my panties, and inside myself.  I slowly move my finger in and out and then gently rub myself.  I lean back in my chair, stop writing, and imagine you making love to me.  I let myself drift away from my office, from work, from divorce, and focus on you.  I come, breathlessly.  Sit totally still for a minute.  I catch my breath.  Think about you again.

I like the way your forearms feel, the way your eyes glance away from me when I look at you.  I fucking love the ring on your thumb.  I love that you love music as much as I do.  I love the way you are so YOU.  You’re not trying to be anyone else.  You are unapologetically yourself.  A conundrum.  A smart ass.  Sweet.  A brilliant mess.  A little crazy – like me.

I can’t stand being away from you.

I get up, grab my purse, get in my car –  drive to you.  I knock on your back door.  You open it and pull me into your arms.  Kiss me.  I rub my hands up and down your back.  You hold me firmly.  We kiss all the way to the bed.  You lower me onto it, and lift up my dress.  Slide my panties off.  Enter me.  I sigh with relief.  We move slowly, then quicker.  Harder and deeper you thrust into me.  You grab my ass and pull me closer.  I grab your head and bite your neck.  You bite me back.  I feel myself coming like it’s my first time to come.  I let out a small cry of delight.  You fuck me harder, and of course, I come again.  And again.  And again.  I feel you inside me.  You fall beside me on the bed.

Sunday, we drive to the lake.  We sit in chairs on the shore, watching the water ripple against the wet sand.  We eat BBQ sandwiches, smoke, drink soda, talk.  Sunglasses on, wind in my hair, it feels so peaceful just sitting next to you.  I am far away from my day-to-day life, and I enjoy the warmth.  The company. The water.

Later, at your house, we get out the riding crop.  I ask you to. Face down on your bed, you spank me with it.  Tickle me.  Tease me.  It feels so good.  You take control and tell me what I can, and can’t do.  You are behind me.  I moan in delight, and release. You pull me towards you.  You fuck me from behind.  Use my vibrator on me.

You turn me over, and on the edge of the bed you enter me.  You feel so good inside me.  I give you head.  You kiss me hard. You lick my nipples, making them erect.  I am slightly sunburned.  I feel amazing.  You feel amazing.

Can every day be like today?  Lost in you?  I will have marks on my bottom that will remind me that you exist when I’m away from you.  I don’t like being away from you.  I wonder who I’m becoming.  So different from who I was.  More me. Abandoned.  Giving up control.  Yours.  Maybe?  I have an orgasm while driving home, thinking about you.

This morning, I wake early after a night of storms.  I make coffee, grab smokes, and my dog.  We step out to the back porch.  I sit in my favorite Adirondack chair; it is slightly wet from the rain.  I look at the trees just starting to turn green and flower.  The sky is soft gray, and it is beautiful.  I play music on my phone, light a cigarette, sip my hot coffee.  Think of you some more.

I have work to do today.  I just want to drive to you.  My eyes close, and I rest my head against the back of the chair.  I’m relaxed.  I love mornings after I’ve been with you.  Flashes, pictures in my head of our afternoon, strike like lightning in my brain.  I try to think about work and what I need to do to prepare for a photo shoot.  Bam.  Another thought of you.  It’s like a short film playing.  Bam.  I never know when it is coming.  They haunt me through the day.  Make me want you.  My cold little heart.  Wants yours.  I’m listening to Michael Kiwanuka’s “Cold Little Heart” and it is so sexy and cool.  Like you.

“Cold Little Heart” – Michael Kiwanuka

Did you ever want it?
Did you want bad?
Ohhh, my
It tears me apart
Did you ever fight it?
All of the pain, so much power
Running through my veins
Bleeding, I’m bleeding
My cold little heart
Oh I, I can’t stand myself

And I know
In my heart, in this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I

Did you ever notice
I’ve been ashamed
All my life
I’ve been playing games
We can try and hide it
It’s all the same
I’ve been losing you
One day at a time
Bleeding, I’m bleeding
My cold little heart
Oh I, I can’t stand myself

And I know
In my heart, in this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In my heart, in this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I

Maybe this time I can be strong
But since I know who I am
I’m probably wrong
Maybe this time I can go far
But thinking about where I’ve been
Ain’t helping me start

“Into You” – Ariana Grande

I’m so into you, I can barely breathe
And all I wanna do is to fall in deep
But close ain’t close enough ’til we cross the line, hey yeah
So name a game to play, and I’ll roll a dice, hey

Oh, baby, look what you started
The temperature’s rising in here
Is this gonna happen?
Been waiting and waiting for you to make a move
Before I make a move

So, baby, come light me up, and maybe I’ll let you on it
A little bit dangerous, but, baby, that’s how I want it
A little less conversation and a little more “touch my body”
‘Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you
Got everyone watchin’ us, so, baby, let’s keep it secret
A little bit scandalous, but, baby, don’t let them see it
A little less conversation and a little more “touch my body”
‘Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you, oh yeah

This could take some time, hey
I made too many mistakes
Better get this right, right, baby

Got everyone watchin’ us, so, baby, let’s keep it secret
A little bit scandalous, but, baby, don’t let them see it
A little less conversation and a little more “touch my body”
‘Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you

Tell me what you came here for?
‘Cause I can’t, I can’t wait no more
I’m on the edge with no control
And I need, I need you to know,
You to know, oh

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